Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Little Set Back

Well, it's that time again.  Yes, that time of the month.  Grr.  A time where I can and most likely do get sidetracked with all my diet plans. 

I have been keeping in mind my mantra:  I choose me.  I choose me.  I choose me.

I have not had candy.  That is a plus.  Not even a piece of dark chocolate.  I did however have a Labor Day get together and made some carne asada, Mexican rice and black beans, with guacamole and salsa.  Carne asada also had peppers in it as well.  I guess I just feel so guilty for Mexican food, with the guacamole and sour cream.  But, I did not over do it.  It's not that I am eating too badly.  I haven't really been eating in excess. However, I need to fit in some veggies. 

Yesterday, I think I really may have overdone it with pizza.  I did not feel like cooking because my cramps were excessive and would not go away.  I asked Bart to fix us some quesadilla's.  He said he would. But then it got late and he opted to order us a veggie pizza with pepperoni instead.  We order a small and share it.  But, I should have stopped at a couple of pizza's and then make a salad.  But, as I said, I wasn't feeling well.  So, I ate until I was satisfied. Four pieces later, I just felt satisfied.  The pieces weren't long, as it was a small pizza.  But, still, I shouldn't have eaten four pieces.  It's just when I am in my period, I get ravenous feeling.  I did have only water with my dinner.  So, I am eliminating calories that way.  Plus I had been drinking it all day. The only other thing I had was coffee in the morning.  So I guess I chose right in some ways.  When I think of drinking soda, I think, "what I am putting into my body?".  And then I think about soda being really sticky when it is spilled and it dries.  Then I think, "I'm putting THAT into my body?  Yuck! " There are times when I want a couple of sips of one, just for the taste.  But, just a couple of sips, cause I don't want to put that much gunk in my body.  Water is the way to go.  Pure water. 

I still have not signed up for Zoo group classes.  I can feel my fat giggling when I move, and it sucks and it's gross.  I should at least go for a walk today.  I do need to get into a regular fitness routine.  Something I can do after I lose weight too.  Like I said in another post, I don't want to just lose weight.  I want a lifestyle change.  A lifetime change, something I can do everyday and not feel stressed about trying to incorporate something too hard into my daily routine.

It's a process and a daily struggle.  But, I am going to keep in going.  Because, I choose me.  I have to do it.  I am worth it.  I choose me.


Moving In the Right Direction

This was written last week at work in WORD and emailed it to myself.  Probably 8/28/13.

So, yesterday I felt quite accomplished.  I was starting to feel a little anxious during the day.  Problems with a shipment of my daughter’s phone and just really missing her.  Anyhow, the thought crossed my mind to go get a taco or something.  Then it turned to, well maybe just one burrito won’t hurt.  I stopped myself in my tracks, and I remembered my motto for myself.  I choose me.  That is very powerful to me.  I’ve never chosen me before.  I choose to feed myself healthy foods to make my body feel good. 

Last night for dinner though, I stopped and got Chinese food for dinner.  Not the healthiest, but it wasn’t loaded with cheese..?!?!  J  I had sweet and sour shrimp and some fried appetizers.  I ate until I felt full, which was not good.  Cause by the time I went to bed, I felt over full.  I definitely learned something.  I must measure my food.  Just because my brain hasn’t caught up with my stomach doesn’t mean I haven’t had enough.  Though I could have let this get to me and totally pigged out more, just cause “why bother”, I didn’t.  I have a new attitude now.  Today is a new day, with endless possibilities.  I started out with more eating healthy.  Half a bagel, some low-fat cottage cheese with fruit on top and coffee.  And right now, I am chowing down on a salad from Whole Foods, with vinegar and balsamic vinegar on top.  Plus, while I was there, I picked up three pieces of fruit for me to gnaw on while I am at work and some non-fat yogurt.  And tonight, I will make a veggie stir-fry for dinner.  Better than the fried rice and sweet and sour shrimp I had last night.  I feel like I am getting somewhere.  Like I will accomplish my goal of living healthy.

Also today, I really was getting motivated for exercising.  I thought, you know, people do it all the time, start slow running – and then little by little they go a little further each time.  There is no reason for me not to start slow running.  And I even thought to myself, what am I doing to myself?  There are many people in this world that do not have legs, or the use of their legs.  Here I am with full use of my legs, and I choose to sit on my butt and complain that exercise hurts.  Or complain because my equipment squeaks.  Those are dumb reasons.  True I do have a condition called Chondromalacia Patella, where the knee does not line up with the femur.  Very painful, dull ache sometimes.  Actually, I could just be standing there and twist the wrong way, and feel my knee and my femur separating.  That itself is not painful, but it’s just weird.

So, I started looking up on the internet what I could do to help me be able to run with this condition.  All signs point to, not a good idea.  I could hurt myself even more.  But, that is not going to stop me.  When I was working out before, my trainer had me strengthen my thighs by doing squats.  So, I will do that.  My stomach needs to be strengthened.  Well, let’s just say my core needs to be strengthened.  When I was working out with my trainer before, he had me doing planks and sit-ups.  So, I will do that.  And according to my trainer, he said I can never get too much of a work out on core, so I could do them every day if I so choose.  But, to be able to lose my belly fat, sit-ups and planks alone will not work.  I have to address that with a cardio workout.  So, what to do about that?  Ok, so with the condition I have, it turns out walking is really good for you.  Plus, there is a club down by my hubby’s work that has group classes.  Classes like Yoga and core strengthening, zumba.  They sound fun.  10 classes is $60.  I will join that so that I can stay active and get this show on the road.  I will dedicate my workouts to all the people that either have no legs or their legs are not functional.  I will at least walk.  I can do that.  I can do that.  I can do it for me and for those people.